Let's be honest. Life these last two years have been less than optimal. Whipsawed from one panic to the next, we've all had it up to here (pointing to just below drowning level).
I have just the thing to calm those severed nerves, frayed neurons, and faulty circuits.
Come one! Come all! - Visit Bob's Robot Redemption.
Bob will assist you by:
TWEAKING your inner most thoughts until you can no longer hear them.
He can REBOOT your perceptions, and clear out your CACHE.
Bob can tactfully REMOVE unwanted spam from your cerebral cortex.
And Bob can do all of this in just three easy payments!
So act now, don't wait. Be first in line for a fresh, shiny new outlook! Everything will soon be Okay!
Bob's Robot Redemption. Accept no substitutes.
List of side-effects may include:
Headache
Skin rashes, blisters, peeling of the skin or severe acne
Inflamed skin (redness) or lesions (red with a purplish center)
Itching, welts or hives on the skin (the face, eyelids, tongue, lips, throat, limbs, hands, feet and sex organs), as well as swelling (puffiness) on or around the eyes, lips, tongue or face
Swelling of the face, hands and ankles
Ulcers, sores or white spots on the lips or inside the mouth
Unpleasant breath odor
Dry mouth
Changes in ability to taste (or loss of taste)
Breathing problems
Yellowing of the eyes and skin (jaundice)
Abdominal pain
Tightness in the chest
Vomiting of blood or substances that resemble dark coffee grounds
Visual disturbances (such as blindness, widened pupils, decreased vision or blurred vision)
Eye pain and inflammation (redness of the eyes)
Eye tearing
Ear congestion
Sore throat
Runny or stuffy nose
Body chills and cold sweats
Noticeable changes in consciousness or loss of consciousness
Convulsions, seizures, twitching muscles or tremors (shaking)
Confusion, light-hotheadedness and dizziness
Feeling faint
Fatigue, drowsiness and body weakness
Difficulty with swallowing
Coughing
Clay-colored or light colored stools (feces)
Black or bloody stools (feces)
Constipation or diarrhea
Bowel movement difficulties or loose stools
Problems with urination (dark urine, difficulties with urinating or decreased urine flow)
A fast or irregular heartbeat
Sweating (increased or profuse)
Bruising or bleeding easily
Increased thirst
Joint and muscle pain, muscle cramps or stiffness
Swollen joints
Movement difficulties
Loss of appetite
Lack of libido (interest in sex or changes in sexual ability such as abnormal orgasms, problems with the discharge of semen or ejaculation or the inability to have or maintain an erection)
Persistent nausea and vomiting
Hallucinations
Unexplained fever
Unexplained weight loss or decreased weight
Coma
Manic episodes (including severe sleeping problems, racing thoughts, increased energy levels, reckless behavior, excessive agitation, irritability or happiness, unusually grand ideas, and excessive talking or faster than usual)
Belching
An acidic or sour stomach
Sensations of crawling, burning, itching, prickling, tingling or numbness
Heartburn and indigestion
Use only as directed.
